So this week it's Stan and Kyle to the rescue. The boys find out Britney Spears is in town trying to find somewhere peaceful to escape media attention. They also discover that some dude got $100,000 for snapping a picture of her pissing on a bug in the woods. So they decide they want some cash as well. Brit is staying at the local "Komfort Inn" so they grab Cartman's camera and made their way down....as did a shit ton of other photogs. So they do what they do, and decide to dress Butters up as a squirrel to see if they can get a picture of Brit shitting on a squirrel.
Instead, after lying their way into her hotel room, Brit loses it and eats a shotgun. One of the least bloody South Park Suicides if I do say myself. Butters and Cartman haul ass, leaving Stan and Kyle, the conscience of the show to make things right.
Britney lives, only she looks like the chick from the Chuck Palahniuk book Invisible Monsters...only backwards. She's just a bottom jaw.
So her manager shows up and decides to make the most of her "new look." He sneaks her out of the hospital and to a studio to record a mumbling song, dragging the boys along. Then she does the MTV Music Video Awards, complete with the bra outfit and mumbling, with her just standing there...since she has no eyes anymore.
So the boys decide after the awards debacle that she must be sad, because her mumbles sound that way and they hatch a plan to take her to the north pole to be away from all the crap. They sneak her out in a shitty disguise, but of course they are found out.
Come to find out, she has been slated for sacrafice. Did you ever have to read that short story The Lottery? Well they totally reinact it, only with cameras instead of rocks. So poor Britney dies, and then the harvest is awesome. The reason being they build up some woman, give her lots of riches, then tear her shit down until she kills herself.
At the grocery store, they see a news story talking about Hannah Montana, aka Miley Syrus. Then in cue all the patrons of the store start singing this creepy song, since I guess Miley is totally next.
Me, I vote for Lindsay Lohan. Or Parisite Hilton. Miley is cute and harmless. Take out some walking herpes sore!
That's my two cents thus far. I must find another show to snark on, because South Park is too awesome to really snark on.
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